


How to Survive the Holidays: A 365 Day Guide

by neversaydie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Awkward Flirting, Coffee Shops, Holidays, Karaoke, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skinny Steve, Veteran Bucky, Veterans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 07:03:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3641157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversaydie/pseuds/neversaydie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One slow day, a few weeks after 'Sarge' starts frequenting the coffee shop, Steve notices the guy craning around the coffee machine and invites him behind the counter to see his coffee being made without straining his neck. Bucky's cautious, but the skinny little guy doesn't exactly look like much of a threat, so he ducks around and gets a close-up lesson about making coffee the corporate chain way. </p><p>He stops giving his name as 'Sarge' after that, but only to Steve. </p><p>[In which Steve works in a coffee shop frequented by Bucky, a wounded veteran, and they survive the holidays together.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Survive the Holidays: A 365 Day Guide

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Как пережить праздники. План на 365 дней](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652259) by [JuliaJulia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaJulia/pseuds/JuliaJulia), [tatianatiana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatianatiana/pseuds/tatianatiana)



> For Jen, because she is my sunshine.

Bucky always keeps his back to the wall when he's out in public.

He won't relax (as much as he ever really relaxes since he got back) until he's assessed the room and scoped out every potential threat, exit, and weapon. He won't eat anything pre-packaged for fear of it being tampered with, and he won't drink anything he doesn't watch the barista make. It's not that he thinks anything might poison him or blow up… but he kind of thinks anything might poison him or blow up.

Still, his therapist told him that leaving the house was good. So he does.

Steve's only been working in the coffee shop for a few months, trying to pay his tuition. He doesn't think the 'creepy guy' with the prosthetic arm is as creepy as the other baristas say. The guy's clearly a vet, would be obvious even without him only ever giving his name as 'Sarge' for his cup, and Steve feels shitty about some of the other baristas whispering about him.

So the guy's a little edgy, so what?

One slow day, a few weeks after 'Sarge' starts frequenting the coffee shop, Steve notices the guy craning around the coffee machine and invites him behind the counter to see his coffee being made without straining his neck. Bucky's cautious, but the skinny little guy doesn't exactly look like much of a threat, so he ducks around and gets a close-up lesson about making coffee the corporate chain way.

He stops giving his name as 'Sarge' after that, but only to Steve.

 

_Valentine's Day_

A few weeks after _Sarge_ becomes _Bucky_ , Steve sees him staring at the sandwich display for a full ten minutes without moving. Bucky's eyes dart over the packages, standing behind the queue so he's not in the way, but despite looking hungry he pulls himself away and just orders his usual coffee. He looks sad.

Little Stevie Rogers, hero in a sidekick's body, is not going to let that fly.  

A few minutes later, when Bucky's collecting his order, Steve quietly invites him into the back kitchen area. Bucky hesitates. The coffee shop is pretty safe, he's established that by now, but the back room is a whole new environment and a whole new set of threats. Steve lets him scope the place out undisturbed for a few minutes before he starts getting out the sandwich stuff.

"I only actually do food prep on Thursdays, so I can't guarantee how good this'll be." He looks up at Bucky with an easy smile. "What do you want in it? Cheese is a pretty safe bet, right? Pretty hard for that to be tainted."

Bucky just stares at this extraordinary little guy for a few seconds before he nods. Steve cheerily carries on making him a cheese sandwich, seemingly undeterred by being stared at while his bony fingers handle the sharp knife they use for cheese. He puts the sandwich in its usual packet when it's done and hands it to Bucky with a wide smile.

"How come you're doing this?" It's not until he blurts the question out that Steve realises how young Bucky actually is. They're probably about the same age, it's just the stress around his eyes and the raggedy stubble that makes him look older.

"Because I want to."

"Everyone else here thinks I'm creepy."

"Well, I don't." Steve shakes his head and offers an explanation. "My Dad was a vet. He used to do some of the stuff I see you doing, 'cause it made him feel safer."

Bucky turns the information over in his mind for a few moments before he smiles, small and hesitant but there.

"Thanks." He mumbles. "For being so nice, I mean."

Steve just tells him not to mention it and shoos him back into the shop before he can get in trouble for letting customers back here. He has a problem with obeying signs that tell him what to do. He says it's because of his crappy eyesight, not because he's a little shit (which is the truth).

He only realises it's Valentine's Day when he's taking the heart-shaped decorations down at the end of his shift. Peggy rolls her eyes when he comments on it with surprise and offers to take him with her on a pity date, which Steve almost accepts despite his wounded pride. It's not like he had anyone to celebrate Valentine's with. He's not sure why he thinks of Bucky when that crosses his mind, he barely knows the guy.

Bucky starts actually buying food after that (but only on Thursdays). He stops watching his coffee being made too (but only if Steve's making it). It feels like the start of something.

 

_Independence Day_

On the fourth of July, Steve's busy putting out a new batch of red, white, and blue cupcakes when Bucky comes in looking overwhelmed.

He's clearly come from some sort of veterans' event, because he's wearing his dress uniform and a pretty impressive number of medals, the Purple Heart polished to gleaming. His hair is clipped shorter than usual, and Steve's pretty sure people are looking at him for his handsome features as well as his uniform.

Someone in the queue thanks him for his service and Steve can hear Bucky fumbling for words in reply, so he jumps in to take the well-meaning woman's order and kill the conversation. Bucky looks relieved.

The TV screens are playing live footage of Independence Day celebrations across the country, and a particularly loud explosion of fireworks makes Bucky visibly flinch. He can't speak when he gets to the head of the queue, his chest working with too-fast breaths that he can't take deeply, and Steve doesn't hesitate. He tells Peggy to cover for him and pulls Bucky into the back room again.

Steve sits with Bucky until he stops shaking, telling him random stuff about the birthday party he's having later and the shitty customers they had this morning, giving him anything to focus on that's not his own rabbiting heart. It takes him a while to calm down, to come back from wherever he's been that's clearly not the back room of a coffee shop with a slightly scared college student.

Steve offers to call him a cab when he's finally breathing normally, but Bucky shakes his head and tells him he's done more than enough.

Before Bucky leaves, he wraps Steve's bony shoulders in a surprising, firm hug that puts pink in his cheeks and makes Peggy tease him for the rest of his shift. Steve thinks the teasing is worth it, especially when Bucky stops by with a late birthday card for him the following afternoon.

He signs it with a kiss, but that doesn't mean anything.

 

_Halloween_

October rolls around slowly, after a long summer of what's Steve's mother would have called 'making eyes' at Bucky over the coffee machine, too chickenshit to do anything about it. Peggy's teasing about it is getting old, and Steve's going to have to make a move soon or accept that the guy isn't interested and give up altogether.

He's putting plastic spider rings on top of purple and green cupcakes (how he loves the holiday tradition of extra work) early on Halloween morning when there's a quiet tap on the door. He looks over his shoulder to see Bucky standing there, poking his head into the room with a nervous smile.

His dark hair is growing out again, and Steve is stupidly charmed by the way it never stays put when he tucks it behind his ears.

"Hey." Steve doesn't try to hide the surprised grin that breaks over his face when he catches sight of Bucky. "We don't open for another hour, how…"

"I know, I'm sorry. Peggy let me in." Bucky explains, and Steve resists the urge to roll his eyes because _of course_ she did, just to make his life more embarrassing. "I was just passing and I wanted to ask if you've got any plans for tonight. I hope that's not weird."

"Um. No. No plans." Steve blurts out immediately before he corrects himself. "I mean, my roommate is having a Halloween party, but… Do you wanna come, actually? She'll murder me if I don't go, now that I think about it."

"Yeah?" Bucky's mouth quirks up into a smile and Steve gets the impression that he used to smirk a lot more. "I don't wanna impose or anything, but it sounds a lot less lame than asking if you wanna hang out. I kinda didn't have any ideas after that point."

The sheepish look on his face makes Steve grin, because it makes him happy to know that Bucky's basically as big of a dork as he is.

"Sure, it'd be awesome if you came." He tries not to sound _too_ enthusiastic, but he's never exactly been _cool_ about anything. "Um, here."

He pulls off his plastic food gloves and grabs one of the sharpies they use for labelling and a cup. He scrawls his address and phone number on the side and hands it to Bucky, instantly regretting the smiley face he'd drawn after his name when Bucky actually does smirk at the sight of it.

"Starts at eight, most people probably won't get there until ten."

"I'll be there." Bucky looks up with a slightly nervous smile. "Do I need a costume? I ain't got any ideas."

"You could be a zombie? Take your prosthetic off and –" Steve stops himself with wide eyes. "Oh God, that's probably so inappropriate. I'm so sorry."

Bucky, however, is too busy cracking up to be offended.

"Zombie, okay." He laughs even harder at the stricken look on Steve's face. "You mind if I bring a couple of people? They were kinda at a loose end too and they're way better at costumes than me."

"Sure, no problem."

"Oh, and is it okay to bring pets into your apartment?" Bucky looks happier than Steve's ever seen him, so he is slightly less struck by the weirdness of the request than he thinks he should be. "My friend has a dog. Um, service dog. He kinda has to bring it."

"Personally, I'm offended when people come over without cute things for me to pet." He shrugs and Bucky manages to look relieved and amused at the same time. "Bring booze and a puppy and I might never let you leave."

_Totally not a serial killer thing to say. Good job, Rogers._

Steve totally does _not_ spend one hour on his hair that night. He also totally _doesn't_ ask Natasha if his Rick Grimes costume makes his ass look good. He also totally _didn't_ forget that he was going as a character from a zombie show on the same night he told Bucky to dress as a zombie. That does _not_ mean they're accidentally wearing a couple costume.

He also doesn't take way too many tequila shots to calm his nerves before people start arriving. Of course not.

Clint and Sam, the friends Bucky brings along with him when he finally arrives, seem like nice guys. They're both clearly also veterans (Steve has never had this much muscle in his apartment at any one time. Natasha vocally approves) and Steve wonders if they knew Bucky before or after his service.

Sam is dressed as Big Bird and seems a little antsy, sticking to the edge of the party and mostly talking to Natasha (dressed in the same ballerina costume she pulls out every year). Clint is dressed as what Steve can only describe as a cross between a stripper and Robin Hood ("They totally had latex in the sixteen-whatevers, c'mon!") and manages to unnerve everyone by having a real bow and arrow as part of his costume. His dog, however, is a big hit with everyone in his little leprechaun outfit, so they forget about the weapon very quickly.

Bucky does come as a zombie, although he keeps his jacket on for a while when he first arrives, self-conscious without his prosthetic.

"You look awesome." Steve greets him with a hug and Bucky flashes a grin full of fake blood.

"I look like I fell off a mountain and came back from the dead." He hesitates before he takes his jacket off and Steve is careful not to stare at what's left of his arm. "Clint said I should get a fake arm and let it fall off occasionally."

"That's an awesome idea. Scare the shit outta my guests." Steve sighs and Bucky seems to relax some. "You like tequila? I think there should be tequila."

"Smells like you already had tequila." Bucky smirks, and Steve suddenly realises how close they're standing. He looks up and their eyes meet, and he swears Bucky starts to lean towards him –

Then there's a smash from across the room followed by a lot of cheering, and the moment is broken.

"Barton, I told you not to shoot that thing!" Bucky is stalking over to confiscate the bow and arrow from a triumphant Clint, much to Steve's relief and disappointment. "If you put holes in the wall I'm gonna put holes in you."

Things get a little hazy after that. Steve drinks enough to fell a man twice his size and ends up passed out on the couch, snoring like a foghorn while Clint's dog sleeps on top of him. The pictures end up on Facebook, it's not his finest hour.

Bucky likes the picture. He also changes his relationship status to 'it's complicated'. Steve's not sure what that means.

 

_Thanksgiving_

Steve doesn't see Bucky at all around Thanksgiving. Nobody does.

Texts and messages go unanswered, for long enough that Steve starts to worry. He's not sure he has the right to, it's not like they're dating or even like they know each other very well, but he can't help himself. Eventually he bites the bullet and messages Clint on Facebook, tentatively enquiring if Bucky's okay.

 _Rough time_ ,comes the reply. _It's a year since he lost his arm. He's not doing so good. It'll pass._

Steve throws himself into other things to stay distracted. He focuses on work, icing cupcakes to look like turkeys and autumn leaves. Peggy doesn't tease him about anything, so he must be pretty bad at hiding how he feels. He lets Natasha paint his nails while they watch TV, hoping that the one day he makes himself look stupid will be the day Bucky re-emerges. The coffee shop is as busy as ever with the seasonal offers, but the place is still missing one regular customer.

Decorations go up. Decorations come down. Bucky never shows.

It's almost time to put tinsel up and change the CD to hipster covers of carols when Steve looks up from the register and sees a familiar face at the front of the queue.

Bucky looks thinner, paler, and more tired than the last time Steve saw him. But he's there.

"Hi." He doesn't say _sorry_ , but Steve hears it just as clear as if he did.

"Hey." He smiles, and Bucky lets out a breath like he's been forgiven. As if Steve would be mad about something he can't help. "Doing better?"

"Doing better." Bucky nods, jaw twitching slightly like he's working very hard to show how much better he's doing. "Thanks."

"Want your usual?"

"Please."

With the way he's acting, Steve almost expects Bucky to start craning around the coffee machine to see his drink being made again, but he doesn't. Steve feels a little leap in his chest and draws a smiley face in the foam.

When Bucky actually smiles at it, Steve wishes he'd had the balls to draw a heart.

 

_Christmas_

Christmas at the coffee shop is a pain in the ass. It's not the loop of carols that he minds, not the seasonal drinks that take forever to make and everyone asks for, not even the fact that cupcake glitter ends up in seriously weird places at the end of the day. No, what really pisses him off is the fact that they make Steve dress like an elf for two whole weeks before the big day.

Bucky just about pisses himself laughing when he sees the costume.

"Fuck you." Steve's face is bright red, underneath the stripy green hat and the fake pointed ears. Bucky keeps laughing, not seeming to give a shit that he's holding the queue up.

He's doing a lot better than he was around Thanksgiving, but Steve is still a little relieved to see him laughing unashamedly in public. Even if it's at him.

"Seriously, they couldn't let you be Santa?" Bucky just about gets himself under control before Steve's hat slips down over his eyes and he loses it again. "Oh my God."

"He was the only one who fit in the elf costume." Peggy calls on her way past, more than happy with her own 'sexy Mrs Claus' outfit. "It was either that or a candy cane."

"Fuck you both." Steve is just about done with this teasing shit. Still, he has to step out from behind the counter to show Bucky the bells on his shoes, just to see that gorgeous smile light up his face again.

"Oh Jesus. I want you in my stocking." Bucky laughs, and Steve goes even redder. "You're the cutest little elf I ever saw."

"Maybe you should ask him to be the elf on your shelf." Peggy suggests, pointedly, on her way back in the other direction. Steve is going to _kill her_ one of these days. "He'd make sure you're being a good boy for Santa."

"It'd be much harder to be good with him around." Bucky catches Steve's eye and smirks, their fingers brushing as he takes his coffee. "See ya tomorrow, Rudolf."

"He was a reindeer!" Steve calls after Bucky as he leaves, trying to pretend that he's not embarrassed when his next customer looks at him like he's crazy.

This thing with Bucky might be making him a little crazy, but he's not sure he minds. At least he's being flirted with, even if it is happening while he's dressed as a fucking elf.

Fuck Christmas.

 

_New Years_

They leave the party before the countdown.

They're both drunk, a little too drunk for polite company, and Sam quietly suggests to Steve that Bucky should get home before the fireworks start. After the Independence Day incident, Steve understands and insists on walking Bucky home. Bucky rolls his eyes and makes some comment about not being less likely to get mugged with a Chihuahua beside him, but he doesn't seem unhappy that Steve is walking with him.

It's been a messy night, all told. Clint got way too drunk on the glittery cocktails he was forcing upon everyone and has spent most of the night making out with anything with a pulse (and possibly some things without, Steve didn't actually stay to witness what he did to the watermelon). Sam and Natasha have been competing to see how many empty beer cans they can stack on the passed-out guests before they move (15, Natasha won). They also discovered that Peggy and karaoke definitely don't mix, and her and Natasha's rendition of _You Give Love a Bad Name_ is to be feared.

Clint and Sam's melodramatic performance of _Tell Him_ is something they'll never speak of again. They will, however, put the evidence on Youtube.

Steve and Bucky have spent most of the night on the couch, cosied up together and laughing at everyone around them. It's been a weird year, they decide, but a good one.

Bucky skips back a few steps so he can walk on the other side of Steve and hold his hand on the walk home. The way Steve feels about that might just be enhanced by how much rum he's ingested that night, but he still thinks it feels really, really nice to hold Bucky's hand.

"We're gonna miss the countdown." Bucky's only slurring a little bit as he fumbles for his house keys and finally digs them out of his pocket.

"I know." Steve is in a similar state, but he's still only seeing one of Bucky in the dim street light so he can't be too drunk. "It's a shame. I was gonna kiss you at midnight."

"Were ya?" Bucky laughs at the boldness of the statement. "Well now I'm really bummed about missing it."

It might be the alcohol, or the occasion, or even the fact that Steve can hear Bruno Mars playing from somewhere nearby and he's a cheeseball. It might be any of those things that make him do it, but he's pretty sure it's the gentle curve of Bucky's mouth that pushes him over the edge.

Steve reaches up and takes Bucky's face in his hands, feeling rough stubble under his fingers and liking it even more than he'd imagined he would.

"Three, two, one." He goes up on his toes and kisses Bucky softly on the lips. There's a moment of nothing but feeling, nothing but _them_ , and when he pulls back they're both grinning. "Happy New Year."

 

_Valentine's Day_

"I see you didn't forget this year." Peggy smirks at the hickey that is peeking out from under the collar of Steve's shirt. "You're supposed save the celebrating for, y'know, _on_ Valentine's Day."

"We did. I got up early this morning." Steve smirks as Peggy makes exaggerated gagging noises.

He doesn't even mind putting candy hearts on the cupcakes today, he must be losing his mind.

The last month and a half hasn't been the easiest thing in the world. Steve loves being with Bucky, but the reality of dating someone with serious PTSD has taken some adjusting to. Bucky refused to stay the night for weeks because he was nervous about Steve witnessing his nightmares, and Steve was overly-cautious about triggering him in a way that made them both feel insecure. But they're working it out, getting used to each other and figuring out how they fit together.

Last night was the first time Bucky stayed over and didn't wake up screaming. Steve thinks things are settling down just fine.

Bucky shows up halfway through his shift with a rose, and Steve isn't even embarrassed that Peggy is going to mock him mercilessly for it. He leans over the counter to kiss his boyfriend when he reaches the front of the line, but their moment is interrupted by another one of the regulars.

"Fucking _finally_!"

Nick comes in around the same time as Bucky every day. Steve thinks the guy must work security or something because he's huge and intimidating, as much as he's polite when he orders. He happens to be standing behind Bucky in the queue when the outburst happens.

"'Scuse me?" Bucky looks around at him like he's prepared to fight, but as irritated as Nick looks that's not what this is.

"I've been watching you two assholes flirt for an entire godamn _year_." He takes his coffee from Peggy with a glare, because that's just how annoyed he is with the situation. "When did you _finally_ pull your heads out of your asses?"

"Uh, New Year." Steve answers, grinning dopily across at Bucky like a puppy. Bucky grins right back, and it's cute at the same time it's completely sickening.

"Well you could've fucking told me before now. I was _invested_!" Nick stomps off, grumbling about them toying with his emotions.

Steve and Bucky look at each other, bewildered for a moment before they burst out laughing. Maybe they are a little ridiculous, but it took them a while to work things out. They're still working it out, but they're doing it as a team now. No matter how long it takes.  

A year's not that long, not when you're spending it together.  

**Author's Note:**

> Clint and Sam's karaoke song can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5skL7ELUeU


End file.
